Being a Student Mom Abroad

Januari 04, 2018

Being a Student Mom Abroad

A lot of friends have asked me how do I manage to juggle between studying and being a mother. The answer is, I honestly don't know. Of course there are amazing mothers who manage to not only study and be a mother, but also work and probably enjoy themselves at the same time. I realize that this is not an easy quest in a woman's life, especially not when you live abroad.

Studying law itself has been quite a challenge for me, it requires lots of readings (which is not my forte) and writings (also not my best ability). But the fact is, as much as it is a burden for me, it is also something that I am really passionate about. I know that "doing something you love is always a better thing" sounds almost cliche, but it is true. I might not be a great student, but I don't mind going through all the statutes and laws for weeks or even months just to understand the point of it.

Problem comes when you don't really have that much time you expected to drown yourself in those things you are passionate about, and that is because you also have a living person to take care of. But you know that God will never give you a problem you won't be able to overcome, and God won't give you a challenge more than what you are capable of. So be positive!😉

Of course I would not be able to survive without the help of other people, especially my husband. There are several things that we, women, need to understand that as much as we think that we are just like a wonder woman, we ARE just like a wonder woman... which is a human being, who needs other people to survive in this world :)

Anyways, here are the tips that I can provide you to survive motherhood and your study life.

#1 Having a supportive partner is always the number 1 trick.

Believe me or not, my husband has spent as much time as I have on taking care of our son. At the very beginning of our journey in Sydney, we both agreed that our priority is my study, and we both will do our best to cooperate so that our son will have a great time, my husband will get a decent job, and I will finish my master's degree well.

At the beginning, it was not so easy for my husband to cope up with the situation, especially since he had a good job back then in Indonesia, and now he has to start from zero to support our family. However, eventually, with all his hard work, he managed to find a suitable job for him which schedule is fit with my study schedule, and we even find 1 free day to have a family time.

We both have to understand that our lives might not be as convenient and as good as it was back then in our home country, so we have to bear with it and we have to keep in mind that complaining about it will never make our lives better.

#2 Socialize, make friends with other Moms, and cooperate.

Before I left to Sydney, I was told by a friend of mine that there is one suburb in Sydney that is full of Usyd's PhD students with kids. I decided to find an acommodation in this area, Campsie, as it is not that far from my university, and I just thought that I might make friends with the other student moms so that I can get the tips and tricks on raising children in Sydney from them.

I'm glad that I live in Campsie because not only that I found a good accomodation with an affordable price for family, I also met a lot of Indonesian moms who are very kind and warm, and they have helped me a lot with taking care of Kinza during my time here (Thanks to Kak Ijan, Mbak Puji and Mbak Tini!💗💗). As a lot of people know, childcare is ridiculously expensive, a daycare service in Sydney would cost around 100$-150$ per day, depending on the area and the service they provide. Not to mention that there is a waiting list for it.

So what I do is, sometimes I ask my neighbors if they could look after Kinza for 3-4 hours while I study, as my husband is often working during that time too. Sometimes they also ask me to look after their children while they have some appointments in university, and I believe that this is also a great chance for my son to have some friends to play with at home.

#3 Having your own time is as important as having a quality time with your family.. or studying.

One of the 3 things that make me survive my life in Sydney, is the fact that I still have some me-time for myself to go out to the city, do some grocery shopping, or have lunch with my friends, despite of all the craziness in our home and at the uni.

After 2 months living in Sydney, we finally managed to find an affordable family daycare for our son, which is not so far from our house. The daycare costs 63$ per day, and Kinza (my son) goes to the daycare every Friday. I actually don't have class on Fridays (only sometimes I do when I have intensive class), so I use this particular day for myself, I often go out and have lunch with my friends from uni or my housemate, or just simply stay at home and watch movies by myself (of course sometimes I also utilize this time to finish my papers when it's exam period 😅).

This me-time is not only good for me, it is also good for our son as he will still get the chance to socialize and make friends at the daycare (because 2 or 3 days is difficult for us financially and apparently 1 day is enough for Kinza), and we believe that it is so far beneficial for his development (especially as he is now in his "golden age") because eversince he first went to the daycare, his English has improved a lot. After 3 months going to the daycare, he can now fully communicate in English!😊

Well I guess the point is, we need to balance everything. At the beginning, everything always seems tough and difficult to do, but if we are patient enough to bear with the situation, we will eventually find our way to work things out. Another important note for couples: talk and compromise. Family is built based on teamwork and understanding, as long as all the members have the same vision and mission, nothing is impossible! 😊

PS: here are some of our family time in Sydney!