Culture Shock

Hi readers,

I just came back from my trip to Tajikistan couple of days ago. My original purpose going to Tajikistan was to accompany my son to adapt with his grandparents from his Dad and since I have to start my master's study in July, my husband and I were thinking that it would be best for our son to stay in Tajikistan with his Onajon (Grandma) and Bobojon (Grandpa) so that I can focus on my study. However, the plan did not go really well as we encountered several bureaucracy problems while we were in Tajikistan. Apparently, my son could not obtain Tajik citizenship because Indonesia and Tajikistan do not have a diplomatic relation while one of the requirements for my son to be enrolled in a Sadik (kindergarten or pre-school) is that he must have the Tajik national passport (yes, they have two passports: international and national, I guess in Indonesia it is equivalent to ID or Kartu Tanda Penduduk). Eventually, my son and I had to go back to Indonesia and we have decided that my son will come with me to Australia (A big yay for me!!😁😁). 

Dushanbe International Airport

My husband's family lives in Tursunzoda (formerly named Regar), 30 mins drive from the capital city, Dushanbe. There is actually not much to see in Tursunzoda, my cousin even said they do not have any cinema. I can say that I find it a little bit boring because there is not much amusement or recreation sites in this city. I guess everything is centered in most big cities such as Dushanbe or Khujand. Tursunzoda city is okay, but the people are amazingly nice, the weather is good, the air is fresh and there is almost 0 crime in this city, so I guess it is a good place to raise a child.

Turzunzoda and Talko Alumunium Company on the left.

As a foreigner from the different part of the world, I experienced a lot of culture shock in this country. It is quite surprising for me because I used to travel a lot and I have ever lived abroad, but this time it was quite an experience.

Tursunzoda's common neighborhood. The roads are mostly dusty and people's houses have very tall fences.

One thing that I love the most about Turzunzoda is that it has an amazing view when you have the chance to travel the villages around the mountains and hills. My in law once took me and my son to the Shirkent Hill where some of her childhood friends live as farmers. It took us around 20 minutes by car to reach the foot of the mountain from the center of the Regar Market. The view from the hill was breathtaking, it was so natural and green and... beautiful! Of course Indonesia has a lot of beautiful mountains too, but I was never a mountain person so I was very much stunned by the view I was watching!👱

The Shirkent Hill.

When I observed the Tajik people's social culture, I learned that guests are pretty much respected and treated nicely in Tajikistan. I would say that it is probably the country with the best hospitality in the world. Although the people barely speak english, they are willing to communicate with you and help you whenever and wherever. I was pretty surprised that when I wandered around Dushanbe by myself (and even in Tursunzoda), people were always willing to help me, they took me to the bus stops or they simply welcomed me in their houses when I was lost and gave me a cup of hot tea (and I did not even know them). 

Tajik people has a unique tradition of welcoming new guests. They always serve a lot of foods although the guest coming is just one person. I find it really interesting as in Indonesia we only serve one cup of tea/water for guests with some cookies (if we have any). 

Welcoming foods at a relative's house.

Another thing about Tajikistan is that they eat a lot of meat. Like "a lot" a lot. Meat is generally cheap there, it costs only around 40-50 somoni/kg (around 4-5$) while in Indonesia it costs around 7-10$/kg. You will always find beef or lamb in every of their dishes, which is amazing because I love beef!😁

Shashlik: one of the best foods I have ever tasted!

However, coming from a country with a gazillion of spices, I find Tajik foods a little bit bland for me, and I realize that the main ingredients of the foods are basically the same: meat, potatoes, carrots and coriander. Having to live in Tajikistan for a month made me miss my spicy Indonesian foods so bad😩 moreover, they eat bread (Naan) as their main source of carb while in Indonesia I eat rice on a daily basis (and probably hourly basis).
One thing that actually surprised me was that in Tajik's gathering, men and women are usually on separate rooms, separate foods, and separate conversation. However, when there is a small family gathering I assume it is okay for the different genders to meet and talk to each other (but most of the case, it is acceptable as long as your spouse is around).

I was with the ladies while the gentlemen had their own space outside of the house (sorry for the poor quality of picture).

While the majority of Tajik citizens are Muslim, it is hard to believe that women who are wearing hijab rarely get the chance to work and religious attributes are rarely seen on the street. However, I can see that most of the people in Tursunzoda are quite adoring foreigners or women who wear hijab. As a Muslim, it is always interesting for me to see and understand how the other Muslim people practice their beliefs, and I believe that it is always a good thing to understand the differences and absorb the good value of other’s religious tradition😊.

I was with some of my husband's lovely cousins and nephews.

Marrying someone from different culture and different background is a very challenging thing. I never thought that it would be this hard, there are so many things that I need to adapt to and it usually takes a lot more time that I expected. My trip to Tajikistan was my first time ever meeting my husband's family, I never had the chance to visit them ever since I got married to my husband due to our financial and priority matters, but my in laws and my husband's cousins have always been such a sweetheart. We have video call at least twice a week, and they have been in my support system since forever.
Differences are normal and I guess sometimes when we face something we have never experienced before, it can shape us to be a better person and definitely to be a more mature individual. I am glad that I am always surrounded by good people, and I am sure that I still have a lot more to explore in this interracial marriage!😄